Wednesday, December 10, 2014

I have the flu and I hate my life

 I finally conceded to having the flu. I've felt terrible for the last two or three days, but I kept trying to convince myself that I was just tired or my back was out of place, but after a fever, aches, and chills, I gave in. I have the flu. 

The worst part is I have an appointment for a flu shot next week :(

So, giving in to the flu, I did what any rational person would do: went to the drug store, bought a ton of cough syrup and alka seltzer and $4 earrings.

Danny went to work and took the kids to the babysitter and I actually got to sleep for more than 3 consecutive hours, which was awesome! It was actually the first time I had all to myself with no one and nothing else to take care of in at least 2 years and 7 months. Seriously, being a wife and working mom of two is hard!!! There are a lot of times when I wish my mom and dad would just come and take care of everything like the good ol days, aka, my childhood. 

Anyway, by the late afternoon, I was feeling a little better (or maybe the alka seltzer had just kicked in) I decided to scramble and fold the clothes before Danny and the kids got home. 

Well, folding those tiny adorable little outfits made me miss my kids like crazy. 20 min in to folding the clothes the fam came home and I can't even tell you how much better it made me feel to see those little ragamuffins!!! Michael has been scooting for awhile and crawling for at least a week, but lately he's been getting really fast, and trying to climb. Well, this happened tonight:

Yep. ALL the way up to standing. And it made me cry. Partially because I was so proud, but mostly because the ease with which he did it just made me know in the bottom of my heart that it definitely wasn't the first time he had ever done it. 

So maybe the title of "I hate my life" is a little dramatic, but I definitely hate being a working mom. It's never what I wanted and somehow some part of me always keeps thinking "next time" or "later" but I know it's not true and there is no next time and there is no later. This is it. My babies are growing up, and I'm missing it. 

And then we have nightly meltdowns and I feel a little better, and like I should be thankful that I get a break and my kids have the best possible babysitters in the world. But I still wish I could do my job part time.