Sunday, October 30, 2016

One of the 10 happiest days of my life

Today was one of the 10 best days of my whole entire life. Ethan smiled at me for the first time. Not gas, not REM sleep, but actually looked at me, I smiled and said "Hi baby Efan" and he smiled back the biggest toothless baby smile and cooed. And then my whole heart melted.

This isn't a picture of THE smile, just a picture of his cute little face :)

I still remember like it was yesterday the first time Sophia ever giggled at me. It was the happiest I had ever been. I felt like my whole life was suddenly complete and if I died right then it would be ok because I had brought this beautiful little person into the world and made her happy and that's all that would ever matter. Tear.

And now to lighten things up and show how crazy I truly am:
When I was pregnant with Sophia I literally cried tears one day because I loved our cat soooooooooo much I was afraid I could never love a baby as much (or more). Well, a few moths later I realized how incredibly stupid that was and knew I could never love anything more than Sophia. Fast forward a year to when I was pregnant with Michael, again, I literally cried tears because I was scared I couldn't love him enough, and I just wanted to be pregnant with Sophia all over again instead of a new baby. Again, a few moths later, I realized how silly I was, both of the two of them were the best things to ever happen to me. THEN AGAIN, Fast forward another year an a half, pregnant with Ethan I was so scared that bringing in another person could be ruin my perfect little family unit, and scared that I couldn't love him enough. And again, I was so so so so so so incredibly wrong. These THREE are my whole world and as frustrating as they can be I could never love anything more than them. (especially the cat)